Low sex drive, or low libido, is more common than many of us let on. In fact, most people (of all ages and genders) will experience a low sex drive at some point in their lives. Still, it’s something that’s often dismissed. Perhaps this is because we feel ashamed for “not wanting sex,” or we feel guilty–like we’re letting our partners down. In any case, it’s important to normalize fluctuating sex drives, and remember that there are things you can do to bring it back if you so choose.
To take control of your sex drive, it’s helpful to conduct a little “inventory” of any changes you’ve experienced recently. Much of the time, our sex drive fluctuates because of some sort of lifestyle shift, whether that’s medication (like birth control or antidepressants), a new job or job loss, pregnancy or parenthood, or any life circumstance that interferes with our mental health. Once you have an idea of what’s causing your low sex drive, you can address those factors directly.
Additionally, you can implement strategies that support your libido overall, and help get it back on track. Here are five to try – see what resonates for you!
1. Find ways to connect to your body.
There are so many ways for us to connect to our erotic selves—sex is just one outlet. So find opportunities to incorporate pleasure (any pleasure) into your life. This might include dancing, practicing yoga, buying a new outfit, or taking yourself out on a date. The key is to identify things that bring you joy and confidence. Often, you’ll find that breaking up your routine or investing in your own pleasure can inspire desire, which you can then bring back home to your partner (or yourself).
2. Supplement with maca.
So much of our arousal depends on what we put into our bodies. In addition to a healthy diet, you can also look into different supplements and vitamins that help boost libido, totally naturally. Maca powder (made from the native Peruvian mama root) has been used for centuries to enhance fertility, boost sex drive, and even improve semen production and soothe symptoms of menopause.
One of Sex With Emily’s go-to’s for maca is FREE RAIN’s enhanced sparkling water. Not only does it taste like an explosion of summery citrus, but each can contains 500mg of maca, a functional dose to nourish libido, enhance sexual energy, and support hormonal balance.
3. Schedule sex.
While it might not feel like the sexiest thing in the world, scheduling sex is actually a great way to prioritize pleasure. Think of it like vacation planning: the anticipation of what you’ll see, the excitement of a new setting…scheduling sex performs a similar function here. And if you’re experiencing a low sex drive due to stress, scheduling sex can help mitigate anxiety as it becomes part of a new pleasure routine.
You can also factor in time to help get yourself in the mood, whether that’s with candles, aromatherapy, watching porn, or reading erotica. If you’re still not in the mood for your scheduled sexy time, find another way to connect with your partner, or yourself. This might include a long bath, some cuddle time, massage, or meditation.
4. Bring on the reinforcements.
There’s zero shame in using accessories to help get the flow going. Physical arousal, particularly within vulva-owners, comes when blood rushes to the clitoris, creating that “tingling” sensation that makes so many of us want to tear our pants off. So if it’s the desire you lack, you might want to increase your sexual toolkit. Promescent offers an arousal gel that can help intensify sensations and boost blood flow to the clitoris. A little goes a long way; simply add a pea-sized drop onto your clitoris, and you’ll start to experience the more physical sensations of arousal…and those can definitely help get you in the mood.
Promescent also offers VitaFlux supplements, which can help boost libido and natural lubrication for vulva-owners, and increase erection strength and maintain healthy T-levels in penis-owners. And if you’re having the opposite problem, and climaxing too early, their delay spray can help with that, too.
5. Pump up your pelvic floor.
If your sex drive is low due to childbirth, hormonal shifts, or incontinence, you’re not alone. So many vulva-owners experience a weakened pelvic floor at some point in their lives, and this can certainly lead to decreased feelings of arousal (especially when you consider other factors, life stress, or lifestyle changes). Mama Glow loves Elvie’s Pelvic Trainer, which connects to an app on your phone via Bluetooth so you can visualize each kegel exercise (as if you’re playing a game) and track your progress over time.
This article was adapted from a piece originally featured on Sex With Emily.