For many people, prenatal appointments serve as reassuring milestones during their pregnancy and postpartum journey. These appointments are when they get to hear a heartbeat, learn the baby’s gender, or simply be reassured that the baby is developing healthily.
However, pregnancy comes with questions. Lots of them, especially at these visits. Is this symptom normal? Why am I feeling this way? Should I be worried? What happens next?
For many birthing people, these questions begin long before they arrive at their OB appointment. They jot down notes on their phone, scroll through trusted resources, or ask family and friends about their experiences. They walk into the exam room hoping for reassurance, clarity, and a provider who will listen.
But too often, they leave feeling unheard.
Self-advocacy has become an increasingly important conversation in maternal health as a result of this exact struggle. Every pregnant person deserves to feel informed, heard, and respected throughout their care. Advocating for yourself is not about being confrontational or dismissive to your provider’s expertise. It is instead about becoming an active participant in decisions about your body, your pregnancy, and your birth.
Trust Your Body
Pregnancy is filled with advice from family, friends, social media, and healthcare professionals. While providers bring years of medical training, patients bring something equally valuable: lived experience inside their own bodies.
If something feels different or concerning to you, it deserves to be discussed. Persistent pain, worsening symptoms, or a feeling that “something isn’t right” should not be ignored simply because a symptom is common during pregnancy. Recognizing warning signs early in pregnancy and communicating them promptly to your OB can help identify serious complications early and potentially prevent complications before they become emergencies.
Your lived experience is valuable clinical information. No one knows your body better than you do.
Preparing Before the Appointment
A productive visit often begins before stepping into the exam room. Pregnancy can bring an overwhelming number of symptoms, concerns, and emotions, and it’s easy to forget important questions once you’re sitting in the exam room. Writing down symptoms, tracking changes throughout pregnancy, and identifying the two or three most important questions can help ensure concerns are addressed during what is often a brief appointment.
Consider keeping notes about symptoms such as headaches, swelling, bleeding, decreased fetal movement, pelvic pain, or changes in blood pressure if applicable. Bringing a current medication list and any recent medical records can also help providers gain a more complete picture of your health.
Preparation is not about proving that something is wrong. It is about making sure your voice is not lost in a busy clinical setting.
Speak Up with Confidence
Healthcare can sometimes feel hierarchical, and patients often worry they’ll sound uninformed or come off as confrontational if they push too hard with their questions. However, healthy communication and asking questions are fundamental parts of informed consent and shared decision-making.
Some helpful phrases include:
“Can you help me understand why you’re recommending this treatment?”
“I’m still concerned about this symptom. Can we talk more about it?”
“What warning signs should prompt me to seek immediate care?”
“If my symptoms continue, what are the next steps?”
“Could you explain that in another way?”
“How urgent is this decision?”
These questions invite conversation while reinforcing that your concerns deserve attention.
If You Don’t Understand, Ask Again
Medical terminology can be overwhelming. Each appointment with your OB can come with a wave of new terms and instructions. And there’s no expectation that patients should immediately understand everything their OB says.
If something isn’t clear, it is perfectly reasonable to ask:
“Can you explain that another way?”
“Can you draw it for me?”
“Can you tell me what this means for my pregnancy?”
Health literacy, the ability to understand and use health information, is strongly associated with improved health outcomes. Providers have a responsibility to communicate information in ways that patients understand, and patients should never feel embarrassed about asking for clarification.
Know That Second Opinions Are an Option
Trust is the foundation of every patient-provider relationship. If concerns are repeatedly dismissed, communication feels strained, or questions consistently go unanswered, seeking another opinion may be appropriate.
Changing providers is not a sign of failure or disrespect. Every birthing person deserves compassionate, respectful, culturally responsive care where they feel heard and included in decisions about their health.
Advocacy is Not About Knowing Everything
You don’t need to arrive at your OB appointment armed with medical research or know every possible meaning of your symptoms. Effective self advocacy is about asking questions, speaking up when something doesn’t feel right, and feeling empowered to request more information before making a decision. Most importantly, it’s about recognizing that your experiences, values, and preferences belong in every conversation about your care.
You are an essential member of your healthcare team. Arguably, the most important member. Your voice is not an afterthought. Your questions deserve answers. Your concerns deserve attention. And your experiences deserve to be heard, respected, and trusted.
References
Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. (2024). The SHARE Approach: A Model for Shared Decision Making. https://www.ahrq.gov/health-literacy/professional-training/shared-decision/index.html
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2021). Informed Consent and Shared Decision Making in Obstetrics and Gynecology (Committee Opinion No. 819). https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/committee-opinion/articles/2021/02/informed-consent-and-shared-decision-making-in-obstetrics-and-gynecology
Bohren, M. A., Hofmeyr, G. J., Sakala, C., Fukuzawa, R. K., & Cuthbert, A. (2017). Continuous support for women during childbirth. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (7). https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD003766.pub6
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Urgent Maternal Warning Signs. https://www.cdc.gov/hearher/maternal-warning-signs/index.html
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Working Together to Reduce Black Maternal Mortality. https://www.cdc.gov/womens-health/features/maternal-mortality.html
Mama Glow & Aetna. (n.d.). Shared decision-making toolkit: Pregnancy, labor, postpartum preferences: Tools and resources to support your birthing experience.
Jadyn Sinclair is a second-year student at Brown University pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in Health and Human Biology and enrolled in the university’s Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME), an eight-year continuum that combines undergraduate studies and medical education. Her work and interests center around maternal and pediatric health, as well as global health, with a continued focus on how care, communication, and access shape patient experiences.
