Mamazine Moment, The Journey, Wellness

How to Find Comfort After Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss

Torie Borrelli, Founder of Box for Loss | October 4, 2021

If you have found yourself reading this peace because you recently lost a pregnancy or experienced a miscarriage, please know how sorry we are and that we are holding space for you through this process. A rollercoaster of emotions is completely normal during this time and it’s important to remember that there is no “right” way to feel. No matter the length of your pregnancy, every person deserves to grieve and express this grief in their own way. So, how do you find comfort in this sometimes isolating journey?

The Box for Loss team has offered some tips below that we hope will help guide you to get the support you need – both physically and emotionally.

Surround Yourself With Your Tribe

Do your best not to isolate yourself for too long, if you need time alone, honor that, but have your loved ones close enough to help out at a moment’s notice. This is your journey and an important process is pregnancy loss – something that can change you forever. You deserve love, respect, and nurturing. Grief turns us into a new human, sometimes it’s subtle and other times we may not recognize ourselves. Try not to cling to the person you were before, it’s ok to evolve. Remember you are not alone. Many women, including myself and my team, have been where you are and we are here for you. It can feel supportive to read other women’s stories to feel less isolated.

Seek Emotional & Physical Support

During your miscarriage, it is important to remember that you need both physical and emotional support. Even if you feel like you got this, allow yourself to let down your guard and feel whatever emotions come up. Your home is your sanctuary, use this time to settle in and honor the process your body is going through. You have to remember that your body requires healing, so although it may feel easier to distract yourself and continue with daily life, it’s a critical time to slow down and honor the process. Most importantly do not feel ashamed or feel like you have to hide the fact that you are miscarrying. Miscarriage has been a taboo discussion for many generations, but this narrative is starting to change. It’s important to talk about it and let people know why you need this time to heal.

There’s nothing wrong with you for slowing down. Your loved ones will be able to better understand why you need this time if you are open and honest. This not only supports your physical healing because you are permitting yourself to step back from your normal responsibilities, but it will also give you the time to grieve and process how this is affecting you emotionally. Find your comfort items (your favorite blanket, robe, slippers), pamper yourself, read a book, watch movies, journal your feelings, don’t hesitate to write down your broken dreams. It is normal to have feelings of guilt, anger, and despair. We can’t emphasize how important it is to honor this loss. This pregnancy was important, your feelings are valid, and no feeling is wrong.

Prioritize Healing

Here are some suggestions to make this healing process easier. You can purchase one of Box for Loss’s curated boxes here to receive these items and start your journey to recovery.

Physical Discomfort

  • Heat can provide relief from cramping. You can use a heating pad, hot water bottle, or a Nyssa hot pack insert that fits in the front of your underwear.

  • Movement of the hips and body can help to relieve tension and pain.

  • CBD can help with pain, tension, a roller version is easy to use on the abdomen and lower back.

  • Herbal Vaginal Steaming has been used for centuries to help clear the uterus post-miscarriage. These herbs are specially chosen by Licensed Midwives to nourish, tone, heal, cleanse with many other benefits. Read more about the benefits of vaginal steaming here.

  • Peaceful Womb Tincture is a blend made up of herbs to help ease pain and discomfort associated with miscarriage.

  • Momotaro Salve, a vitamin-rich, plant-based topical, safely works with your body to help balance pH and naturally supports your body’s natural ability to heal itself without disrupting hormones, pheromones, or medication.

  • Stay hydrated and fed. It is important to be eating warm nourishing meals with healthy proteins, fats, and food high in nutrients. Avoid inflammatory and dehydrating foods, and turn towards drinks with electrolytes that can support your nervous system, relax muscles, assist in properly rehydrating you and help you replace the essential minerals your body needs.

Emotional Support

  • Organic essential oils such as Frankincense, Clary Sage, Geranium, Ylang Ylang, Orange can help with feelings of shame. It also gives you feelings of peace and overall wellness. Reduce feelings of anxiety and stress to ease your mind. Helpful for contractions and with the healing process during loss.

  • Gan Mai Da Zoa Tang is a simple yet powerful 3,000-year-old traditional Chinese herbal formula designed to treat anxiety, uncontrollable crying, depression, restless sleep, heart palpitation, somnolence, melancholy. Nicknamed ‘Happy Tea’

  • Journaling can be very healing and assist in honoring the loss of a child. The good grief journal has beautiful ways to help with prompts when you don’t know what to write.

  • Rose Quartz is the crystal of peace and unconditional love. Rose Quartz calms us, opens our hearts, and brings deep healing and self-love; especially in times of grief. It can be used for those who have experienced loss and trauma, as it brings emotional balance, security, and peace. Holding this stone while speaking positive affirmations can bring great comfort and strength.

  • A Ceremony can help create a way to commemorate this day, some may find it healing to have a burial, or ceremony with their partner to honor the journey.

For additional support, please consider reaching out to your local birth center or midwives, or seek support through the work of a bereavement doula. They are there to answer questions, provide additional resources, and help you through this process.

Torie Borrelli received a Bachelor in Science and minor in Nutrition from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, and is board certified from Bauman College of Berkeley as a Certified Holistic Nutrition Consultant and Natural Chef. She has worked with hundreds of clients suffering from inflammatory diseases and chronic illnesses. By integrating a combination of clean and nutrient-dense foods, hydration, sleep, stress reduction, and movement into their daily routines, she has helped many optimize their health, increase longevity and promote wellness in their lives. When Torie’s not working with clients you’ll find her experimenting in the kitchen, surfing, or adventuring somewhere in Mexico with a full ice chest, superfoods, and her latest food creations to share with the people she loves. Torie is a consultant and educator for the world-renowned health spa, Rancho La Puerta. Her recent work consisted of developing recipes for The Butcher’s Daughter Group in LA, consulting at LYFT headquarters, and writing and creating recipes for COOLA sunscreen, Siete Foods, Kite Hill, Kuli Kuli, and LEEF organics.

Learn more about Box for Loss & shop their products here!

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