Orgasm + Birth: 3 Ways to Access Sexual Connection in Labor

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pregnant-woman-with-man-photo-420x420-ts-81283598The energy of the bedroom and birthing room is one and the same. What you do in the bedroom can help you in the birthing room. 

Have you ever noticed what it takes to get you in the mood for love? Dim lighting, slow music, the right aromatic scents, a clean and cozy space, a sexy voice, kissing, therapeutic touch…and erotic touch. The elements you use to get in the mood to open yourself up to an erotic experience—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—are the same elements that will make you feel comfortable enough to open up in birth.

Early on into my doula practice I became intrigued by orgasmic birth because I believed that my birth had been on the verge of an ecstatic experience. One of the first things my teacher Sheri Winston said was “sex and labor are the same thing.” Arousal and birth are almost the exact same physical state—from the neuro-pathways that light up to the hormones involved. Orgasm and birth are the exact same state, structurally, neurologically, hormonally, and energetically.

Orgasm and pushing, or releasing the baby, are related states. They are both primal experiences, part of what I call our “spiritual blueprint.” They happen on their own, through the body’s wisdom. When you tilt your pelvis during intercourse there is a nerve response—a primal thrusting and friction. The uterus itself is a power player during arousal. It trains for birth by rocking back and forth during high-level arousal, promoting fertility and the opening of the sacred passageway. The round ligaments, which act as rubber bands keeping your uterus in place, are connected to the vulvic muscles of the vagina. They are also connected, via connective tissue, to your heart. When you climax, these body parts—vulva, uterus, and heart—are in total alignment. On its way out of your body your baby will hit the pudendal and pelvic nerves. (The term pudendal comes from the Latin word meaning shame—one of many examples of how culture has made sex dirty.) If you remain in a relaxed state as your baby descends, you may experience a combination of sensations that include tingling pleasure. Some women go even further, having a full-on orgasm at birth.

The more pleasure you allow yourself to experience prenatally, the more ecstatic a birth experience you will have.

3 Ways to Access the Sexual Connection in Early Labor

Make time for Play: This is when I encourage arousal between the couple. Encouraging the body to soften and open in the last few weeks of pregnancy will also prepare you big time for the big day. It’s your last hurrah before the baby comes, so make time for intimacy! It may or may not result in sex. And sex is fine, as long as your amniotic membranes are still intact. 

Kiss!!! : In early labor, I encourage a lot of kissing. I had a birthing couple delivering twins who were so turned on in their labor that we ended up making a “do not enter” sign for the door so they could kiss and be comfortable while her labor quickly progressed. The mouth and throat are hardwired to your pelvic floor and sacred passageway (birth canal). The opening of the mouth and throat signals the opening of the pelvic floor muscles and the sacred passageway (birth canal). So get ready to pucker up!

Nipple Stimulation: Gentle rubbing or rolling of the nipple, or suckling of the nipples to encourage contractions and begin labor is called nipple stimulation. This is only one of several techniques used to try to induce labor and may be used in combination with other natural techniques to tighten pleasure. Oxytocin, the love hormone that causes contractions, is released in the body when the breasts are stimulated.

So whether you are at home in the bedroom getting all steamy, or in the hospital birth room slow dancing with the lights dim, you can create the right circumstances to open up for your baby. Don’t forget the vibrator is a very useful and fun tool to have on hand at home and to keep it moving at the birth center!

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