Doula Mode, Inspiration, Mamazine Moment

‘Open Letter to My Sisters’: A Doula Mother’s Reflection

Crysta Bloom | May 29, 2021

To my sisters. My ride or die, day one kinfolk. I call you my sister because the word “friend” doesn’t hold water and you’ve kept me afloat. I thought love was reserved for my lovers. That was until I found the

kind of love that only exists in a sisterhood.

 

You’ve been with me through it all. Remember the day I told you that the pregnancy test was

positive? You danced with me to the music in my head. You watched as my belly ripened like a

sweet Atlanta peach. Then you held my head in your lap when the loss happened. Wiping away

an ocean of tears with your bare hands. You grieved with me. You were the rock in my garden.

Steady and still as I grew.

 

You held up a mirror so that I could see the shame I was hoarding. The shame of losing a child.

In my reflection, I saw the broken pieces that you wouldn’t let me ignore. Together we knelt down

and gathered my shattered fragments. We sorted them by size and shape. We searched for the

pieces that no longer fit and we buried them in the dank soil beneath our feet. We pieced

together the tattered edges until a picture started to form. I held the image up to the light.

Studied it with squinted eyes and shared my findings with you.

 

I grew ten feet tall when summer came so you put flowers in my hair. Sister, do you remember

summer? The way our cocoa skin glistened when we danced. Our goddess energy overflowing

and drowning our assassins. Specs of stardust caught in the kinks of our crown. Do you

remember the freedom? We were so young then. We found love in the summertime.

 

In the fall, the roundness of my belly was familiar and bittersweet. So we prayed, we chanted,

we called on the ancestors for favor. You held the hope so that I could honor my fear. Snow fell

the night my daughters were born. My daughters were yours too.

 

I wasn’t the same after birth. Like a python, I shed my skin with venom and resistance. I missed

the way we danced in the summer. But my heart was full in a way that I’ve never felt before. It

was a duality that cracked my foundation. So I went into hibernation allowing no one into my

cave but you. When I emerged I was an unrecognizable version of my former self. We got to

know me all over again.

 

Motherhood is the best hood. It is my greatest teacher. Motherhood reveals my shadows and

my light. It allows me to see myself as I am. It invites me to rise to my highest vibration. I have

become braver yet more afraid than ever before. I am so grateful that we are moving through

this phase of life together. Holding our children with one arm and holding each other up with the

other.

 

You have bared witness to my metamorphosis. As each season of our lives unfold a new

chapter of our friendship is birthed. Its leaves grow up towards the sun while its roots bury

deeper into the earth. We are steady and we are forever changing.

 

Thank you, sisters, for everything.


Crysta Bloom (she/her) supports mothers in the transitional phases of motherhood — pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and new motherhood — specializing in techniques to “mother ourselves” and bring harmony to our wounded inner child.

Crysta is an Early Childhood Development specialist with over a decade of experience in classrooms and the nonprofit sector. As a Conscious Parent guide, Crysta unpacks the ways in which trauma and identity affect our mothering approach. She practices gentle, comprehensive parenting philosophies while exploring their intersections with generational wisdom, race, and class. Crysta’s belief is that if we become conscious of the ties that keep us bound then we become capable of liberating ourselves. This re-parenting of ourselves frees us to be more present, intuitive, and compassionate with our children.

Crysta is also a Birth and Bereavement Doula providing support to birthing people as they welcome babies earth-side or mourn the loss of a pregnancy. She provides practical, evidence-based care with holistic, intuitive roots in meditation, acupressure, Hypnobirthing, and birth record keeping.

Crysta is the founder of The Bloom Sisterhood Society, an interdisciplinary artist collective comprised of women of color providing art and healing to girls of color ages 13-18yrs.

Following Crysta’s work at KindCocoaMama.com, TheBloomSisterhoodSociety.org, @TheKindCocoaMama!

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